Masochism
Masochism is a colour used in certain types of paintings and swatches in Home Depots. The National Art Institute for Special Colors accepted its request form in the year 1347,but did not get accepted until 1776.
History[edit | edit source]
Maochism was invented by Crayola in the year 1347 along with peach and grass. They were a wonderful country with good motives and absolutely no thoughts of harming the public and wringing other people's necks. Its first venture into the world was a test run on a building in Ney Joysey, where people lined up in order to see the new Cartigan exhibits. Few reliable testimonies still exist, and the ones that do are of poor quality after the resulting fires that Masochism caused.
Carl Sagan was just a boy when he saw the exhibit. He writes about the event:
| When dusk fell, I saw it, embraced in the streets of the Holy City. It was miraculous. Nothing had such beauty or shape before. It filled me up, but not like those voices I had before. I saw spiders, and they were beautiful. Like the moon. Like Masochism. I became one with the Force that day. I had been enlightened on the new ideas, a hue that had no shape, no size. Limitless. Invincible. Yet, Limited. Oh, my god. Spiders. |
Another observer casually writes:
| Carl Sagan is full of crap. |
Darth Vader provided testimony to the event, on the Saturday after Mardi Gras.
| BLOOD BLOOD FIRE. BLOOD BLOOD FIRE. BRING ON THE DEVIL FROM THE UNDERGROUND, LET HIS TAKE OUR SOULS AND USE IT AS THE COAL TO POWER HIS TRAIN TO UNKNOWN DISTANCES. THE END TIMES ARE NEAR. LUCIFER WILL TAKE YOU TO THE AFTERLIFE. |
Scholars are still debating wether he was Posessed, or had drank too much Masochism Ale.
Masochism Today[edit | edit source]
Today's new post-modern scholars began to ask big questions about the true nature of Masochism, wondering the true nature of the event. Was Masochism merely a reflection of the Industrial Era, or a continuation of the Dark Ages?
The Scholar Mr. Jo Penguin at Illogic U wrote a game changing paper in the middle of the 18th century about the true nature of the event, which lead to his famous speech on the subject.
"My fellow Muppets, we are gathered here to day in order to uncover the truth. Masochism will reveal itself. It was a setup by the illuminati, Nazis, Barack Obama, George Bush, Osama Bin Laden, John Rawls, Taylor Swift, Reggie Fils-Aime, Bill Gates, John Kerry, Kenny Loggins, Walt Disney, Hellen Keller, The Russians, The Communists, The Australians, the Americans, Ayatollah Khomeini, Sweden, Pat Sajak, Coldplay, Kierkegaard, God, Armadillos, Morgan Schaffer, J.K. Rowling, and Kristen Stewart. We can tell this by the use of the word "is" used exactly 70 times. Plus, you all remember how we debunked the History of Crayola, so everything is a CONSPIRACY.
While his theories have been debunked, many historians have wondered if these hold some truth, and suggest Masochism is not a color at all.
These historians are full of crap.
Masochism is still used in paintings today, especially by Hipster Modern Artists.
