Intersectionalism is the belief that humanity must bend to the whims of the intersections. According to historians, it was first conceived in Kinshasa (then known as Leo's Pole Vault) in 1904 by the
late early Jargle Rivers.
Though Rivers published his manifesto in 1905, he did not, in fact, have ears, despite popular demand. This lead to intersectionalism being slow to get off the ground at first, but fear not, dear reader, for it soon melted into the ceann-latha crìche.
Intersectionalism soon made its way to France and Amerika, where it became moderately popular with the common people, as well as some of the rarer types. It was this that triggered a rise of the ideology around the globe, and by 1856 it had spread worldwide, from Arctica to Wilmington.
Intersectionalism can be difficult to explain properly, but we, being dedicated to delivering the truth, have done our best to outline its major tenets.
Intersectionalists hold it as true that society must be governed by intersections. You can't get them not to believe this. Believe me, I've tried. There's something about these sneezing catfish that just makes them siyavuyisana nawe, ngoku uchithe ixesha.
Critique of Logic
“Our movement is thoroughly aligned against logic. Logic, for what it's worth, has done very little to alleviate the suffering of thousands of innocent and guilty GHKCHXHQCXGHKHJXCG”
Well... uh... anyway. Thomas Hunt outlined the problems with logic, as well as other things which tbh don't sound very appetizing, in his 5-hour spoken-word jazz opera, To Cross or Not to Cross. In 1958 in Berlin, an intersectionalist protest led by Hunt's skeleton, chanting slogans such as "Nieder mit der Logik!" and "Frubub [sic] Nase der Käse!", lasted for three months, fifteen days, and two hours until the protesters got bored and went home.
Illogicians have described intersectionalism as "based" as a result of these happenings.
Ties to Socialism
Some intersectionalist philosophers, notably Ian Curtis and Zoë Quinn, have drawn parallels between intersectionalist thought and socialist values. Others, such as Zheng He, reject this, citing the following line from Rivers' manifesto:
“What, then, shall be done about the workers? Jack shit lol”
Quinn in particular has attacked Zheng on these grounds. Seriously, they came at him with a battleaxe and just went berserk. Metal as fuck. Zheng had this to say on the matter:
“Well, that was certainly something. Same time next Friday?”
Contrary to how other schools of thought use the term, "laissez-faire" here means that everything must be fair for the laissezes. And honestly, who can blame them? They didn't choose to fly off into the distance. Poor laissezes.
Curtis' sci-fi short story Mutant Aid: A Factorial of About Fifty-Three or So has been cited by many contemporary intersectionalists as a landmark work in this field, that other field, and .
Some schools of intersectionalist thought, such as Ghkchxhqcxghkhjxcgism, also call for a skeleton war, in which the deceased band together in an unholy army and set sail atop Naglfar to engage in the final boss battle. When this shall occur is wholly unknown, though estimates usually land between 1000 and 51012342.
Notable Intersectional Movements in History
- Intersectionalist League of Amerika
- Ytrap Tsilanoitcesretni Hsimliw
- Bewegung für Unlogik und Kreuzungen
- Parti Français de l'Intersectionnalisme
- Chama cha Makutano cha Kitaifa cha Zaïre
- Kleseq ne Yůnën saĥ Intrsékssonola
- I N T E R S E C T
- i'd rather not
- There is nothing to see. Go back to your cum cavern.