Cultural Marxism

Cultural Marxism was a historical figure and preacher in Italian Libya, and a central figure in the religion of Marxianity.

Historians debate the validity of his story, though most people agree that pineapple does not belong on Pizza.

History

Cultural Marxism was conceived of by immaculate conception of the Virgin Marx in 1789 AD, and soon became an extremely popular preacher. He was eventually executed by the Italian government for his unorthodox approach to religion, often times bashing baby’s legs in with rocks to signal devotion to the Holy Hole.

The Holy Hole

The Holy Hole is the central god whom Cultural Marxism preach of. He is said to wield a Hammer and a Sickle, and is considered by followers of Marxianity to have impregnated Cultural Marxism as a baby, along with 3 wise kings. After this, Cultural Marxism gave birth to his adult form, with his child form being devoured by a serpent.

Life

Cultural Marxism lived most of his life in extreme poverty, being to born to the Virgin Marx in 1789 AD. The Virgin Marx was a prostitute, but no one wanted to engage in her services, hence why she was a virgin. To compensate for this, the Virgin Marx prostituted Cultural Marxism out to various men and women. Eventually, they had to flee from their homeland, as King Nommodogon IV ordered for the sons of all prostitutes to be executed. During their journey, The Holy Hole, along with 3 kings, came to the yurt of the Virgin Marx and Cultural Marxism. When this happened, the Holy Hole impregnated Cultural Marxism, which resulted in Cultural Marxism giving birth to himself as an adult. One of the other kings turned into a snake, and the baby form of Cultural Marxism was then eaten by the snake, before the snake then bit the Virgin Marx and made a next in her uterus.

Once Cultural Marxism grew up, he began preaching of the Holy Hole, spreading his doctrine all across Italian Libya. Eventually, he was executed for his teachings, being killed via sand force feeding.

Isms