The Twilight Saga: Breaking Bad Part 1

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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Bad Part 1, starring Bella Thorne, was an UnAmerican low fantasy romance film. It lost money at the box office, but most of the people involved in it made money. Based on the third installment of the Twilight authorized novellization series, it was widely regarded as the most disappointing film adaptation of a crappy book ever, until the release of 50 Shades of Gray (2015).


The movie opens with Bella converting to Mormonism in Old Mexico, engaging in a marriage ceremony with Edward Cullen. Then some filler happens, then after Bella looks at turtles or something, she finds out that her mother has cancer. In desparation, she joins NXIVM so she can make blue methamphetamine. She is able to do it, despite having spent all her high school chemistry classes looking at Edward Cullen.

Meanwhile, the Sinaloa cartel hears "Hide Away Folk Family" by They Might Be Giants and decide that South Africa can't have all the fun. When they find Bella, Bella contemplates her current situation, along with her experiences with the Volturi, realizing that her whole life has been orchestrated by the CIA and she needs to take the red pill to get out of The Truman Show.


Its original BBC broadcast was well received, but when it was syndicated to PBS, kids and parents didn't like it because they couldn't understand it. The CIA disapproved because they weren't consulted about any of it.