Soccer moms

OMG! A SOCCER MOM!!! Run for the hills.

Soccer moms are an arcane race of immortal beings bent on the elimination of mayonnaise. Driving chariots powered by squirrel oil, these seamless besweatered minivan pushers prowl the streets by night, cruising for extra mozzarella for their sensors.

“Soccer moms are in and of themselves harmless. If you crush them, they turn into coal.”
~ Carmen Electron on Soccer moms and spontaneous combustion

Proper disposal[edit | edit source]

In case of pretense, amplify sweater and shoes, upgrade to large SUV, get a bigger house, quote from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and brandish a rapier. I just had the most peculiar feeling of moving backwards. Oh, I've been drinking again. Never mind.

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Sports

	Logical Sports	American football \| Baseball \| Bowling \| Chess \| Cricket \| Disc golf \| Football \| Golf \| Hockey \| NASCAR \| Skydive \| Table Tennis \| Tennis \| Trampolining
	Illogical Sports	Beating the crap out of biscuits \| Butterfly hunting \| Chair racing \| Defenestration \| Digging holes in the road and filling them in again \| Extreme accounting \| Extreeme \| Extreme Downhill 280 Meter Wife Beating \| Flytipping \| Force Feeding Dragons \| Free-fall \| Furniture Watching \| Grave Dancing \| Heart Burn \| Insane Pigeon Bowling \| Limb throwing \| Midnight basketball \| Monkey Sword Fights \| Notsoccer \| Pea Stuntin' \| Punctuation Abuse \| Rape \| Schnallball \| Sharpie Snorting \| Shoplifting \| Skipping \| Smash ball \| Spray-painting \| Stark raving bonkers \| The Competitive Suicide League \| The Pregnant Women's Football League \| Tiddlywinks \| Tree Football \| Turtle wax \| Underwater basket weaving \| Wheelstand \| Yu \| Tischtennis
	Athletes	Allejo \| Cow-orker \| Ivanasti Chestikov \| Chris Coghlan \| Kyle Petty \| Rush Limbaugh \| Soccer moms \| Tiger Woods \| Timothy Holsen \| Tony Stewart \| Ronaldinho \| Russian Football Team
	Events	2010 FIFA World Cup \| Cold War Classic \| Great Frog attack of sometime last year \| IllogiNews:High school mascot decimates opposing team \| Olympics \| Smarch Madness \| The Grand National \| The Illogicopedia Olympics \| The Jesus-Satan Arm Wrestling Competition \| Wimbledon \| The Winter Games of the XXIII Olympiad \| Winter Olympics \| World Frog Throwing Championships
	Related Topics	Sport \| Body Break \| Car crusher \| Do you know the secret to the perfect swing? \| Gran Turismo 2 cheats \| Gromit \| Santana Sports \| Slam Dunk! \| The Art Of Ping Pong \| The Christian Wrestling Federation \| The Professional Grass Inspecting League of the English Premiership

Soccer moms

Proper disposal[edit | edit source]

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