Skydive

So high up... I think I'm gonna be sick... (click to enlarge)

You go up in the air and jump, idiot. That's all there is to it.

SPLAT

Just remember this...…

• 

  Squat, you moron!
  
  
  Squat (Self explanatory)
  
• 

  "I'm sorry for that time I stole money..."
  
  
  Pray (Waste of time... you'll probably die anyway)
  
• 

  Well, here goes...
  
  
  Leap (only a moron would actually do this)
  
• 

  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
  
  
  Ahhhhhhhhh!!! (What said moron will scream as he/she falls to Earth from thousands of feet in the air.)
  
• 

  Try not to squash any senior citizens... or at least, have a good excuse.
  
  
  Touchdown ("Woo hoo! Football!" -- Not really. And to be honest, your chances of surviving this fall are slim to none. So don't count on landing safely.)
  

Notice:

Before attempting to skydive, realize that the above is an acronym for "splat", the noise you will make when you hit the Earth, unless you land in the ocean, in which case, the noise will be more like a "splash".

Once you have come to this realization, go skydiving anyway. You're that dumb.

SPLAT (again)

Congratulations, you are now part of the ground.

Well, you jumped. It was your decision. It was not my fault. Goodbye.

See also

• Twenty Things You Should Know When Planning to Skydive
• Parachuting without a parachute

Sports