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When you lay tennis, nobody can hear you scream. Oh come on, Umpire! That ball was on the line.

Tennis is a sport that involves stealing a snowshoe form an old Eskimo and hitting a small green ball with it back and forth over a net until someone wins. Sometimes the snow shoe breaks and you have to travel all the way to Brazil to go kill another Eskimo. Then the snow shoe is really an alligator so it bites off your hand! Then you become famous as the "tennis player who lived".

Tennis was made by a rich old snob by the name of Oliver Twist in the year 1300, at least according to my history book [1]. He first took a beaver's tail and smacked a rock over a fence, thinking, "hey, I a could make a million dollar business by coming up with a corrupt scoring system for a game similar to what I just did!" And then he did. Now tennis is played and nobody pays attention.

Tennis is also "sinnet" spelled backwards. Nevertheless, the game has never made anyone lose their head.


  1. Haralambos, June 1856