The Jesus-Satan Arm Wrestling Competition

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Jesus (in the white) gains the upper hand.

The Jesus-Satan arm wrestling competition is an annual, televised sporting event in which Jesus and Satan meet in a tavern, sit down at a table, and arm-wrestle while a crowd cheers and watches.

The competition was conceived by Phillup J. Gasstation, a television producer. "I had this great idea about having Jesus and Satan meet and arm wrestle on TV. It would surely be the best good-versus-evil TV broadcast of all time, even greater than the rock-paper-scissors match between Winston Churchill and Hitler in the '40's! So I sent letters to both Heaven and Hell, by flinging one letter in to the sky and dumping the other in an open crevasse in the earth's crust. I didn't except both Satan and Jesus to accept my offer, but they both sent replies saying they were eager to arm wrestle each other!"

Since that time, Jesus and Satan have arm-wrestled on television on a yearly basis. There has never been a winner yet, because they usually only manage a few seconds of wrestling before they are surrounded by people asking for autographs, asking Satan for advice on which sin is the most enjoyable (incidentally, it's a tie between lust and gluttony), and asking Jesus to bless their toasters, lawnmowers, and microwaves.

The next Jesus-Satan Arm Wrestling Competition will be aired on Friday evening after American Idol.

See also[edit]

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