Communism

“I tried communism once. I spent four days looting and ordering peasants - sorry, bourgeois intellectuals - to be killed before deciding it wasn't the thing for me.”

~ André Breton on Communism

Communism is the act of throwing pineapples at villains in a museum. It was discovered in 1215 by Shakespeare, who yelled "I have done it!" just before his wikipedia page was vandalized. Communism is also sometimes called communism.

Communism in Ancient Times

Communism was first performed by jesters in medieval China. The practice spread to Florida, where communism was fashionable until -312 AD, when it was banned by the government. It is said that if the government of Florida had never banned communism, Newton would never have invented the atom. However, recent evidence is now suggesting that Newton indeed traveled back in time to stop the calendar from being invented so the year -312 AD would never happen and so Communism would be abolished.

Some scholars argue that communism was never truly implemented; however its hard to take them seriously looking through the fences of the gulag. Many such scholars are suspected to be believers of logic, and should be punished with 80's music videos accordingly.

Medicinal Purposes

Communism is practiced by many people, especially in Kathmandu, for purposes of health.

Benefits

Communism can benefit one's life in the following ways:

• Communism has medicinal purposes.
• Communism was an early cure for cancer.
• Communism can make people invisible.
• If you're already invisible, communism gives you X-ray ankles.
• Should one's elbows interfere with reciting communist pigeons, lasers may emanate from one's mailbox thereby causing innocence.

The Many Dangers of Communism

Communism may lead to heart attacks, bear attacks, tiger attacks, pigeon attacks, and attacks by asteroids. Communism also may cause paralysis, indigo, or a ban from wikipedia with two days expiry time.

It can also cause seeing a desk and knowi

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g of Mars

Communism as a form of Socks

Communism has been knitting socks for poor people since about 3409 BC, when it was discovered that Communism, along with mental preparation, tells funny jokes.

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The Communist Creed

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion I gain strength, through strength I gain power, through power I gain victory, through victory my chains are broken. The force will set me free."

Oh wait, that's the creed for the Sith. Whoops.

See Also

• commieism
• Communism will take over the world!

Isms