Russia

God bless Russia, for it is as communist as communist apple pie. Communist pie approves, whereas Pie-in-the-Face doesn't. Oh wait, that stupid bourgeoise ruined it! Russia strayed from the path of Vladimir Lenin and is now ruled by Vladimir, but his last name is not Lenin! Ugh!

Russia? Where? oh fuck. Anyways if we went to war with Russia now we'd be late for breakfast so lets not.

“In Soviet Russia, Russia, Russia you up the RUSSIA!!!!”

~ Russian reversal on Russianing you up the Russian, Russian

Thanks to CS:GO, the rate of Russian speakers has increased exponentially in the past few years.

Vodka

It's a very powerful drink! I drunk it once and saw a new colour. Aw man, I was well meloned.

☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭

Voodka

A voodoo version of Vodka. I drank it once! It was one of the most fruity experiences of me life. LION! LION! Wood smelling zoo keeper lunch pack!

Oh Stalin! You are a one

Yeah, the Russians all in all are an okay kinda bunch, but with a few minor exceptions yes?

• Lenin
• Lenin
• Lenin
• Lemmings
• Mr S the Flower Pot Purge
• Pugey the the purge purge
• My name is Purge
• That one CS:GO guy who DIDN'T ruin your kill streak
• Purge the fnurd
• 1930s purge PURGE O RAMMANA!
• Lenin
• Starling!
• The ?pedia Purgeness Monster
• You

1958 Invasion of the Tanks

In 1958, the motherland was surprised suddenly with an invasion of tanks manned by sentient chairs sent by Taiwan after Russia didn't invite them to their birthday party. An army of 1673.5 tanks were sent across the ocean and invaded the south coast of Russia, catching the local vodka bottles and CS:GO players by surprise. The Russian army of 46 men, 2 women, 8400 bears and 900 LEGO Stalin Minifigures assembled in the nearby town of Putinisgreatski and fought off the invasion with their barrages of caviar and 10 year old insults. The whole battle lasted about 74 minutes, the second shortest war after the 1798 Great Pillow Fight between Mr. Roadkill Head and Madame Benghazi de l'Emails, due to the terrible quality of the Capitalist-made tanks, those evil Capitalist swine!!11! The Taiwanese government were forced to apologize and destroy their entire surplus of baked potatoes, a valuable trading commodity, which crippled their economy of 2.3 billion changs. To this day, Russia has fought no wars and has the most allies out of all countries, with 223 countries they have peace with and occasionally meet up with and ride on bears. Truly remarkableski. The Motherland then counterattacked with 8,972,282,827 Hammers and sickles killing Taiwan and eating their burritos.

Russian Jesus

“I'M RUSSIAN JESUS, YOU DIG COMRADES?”

~ Russian Jesus Christ on digging and comradeship, lol

One more thing

I don't like you, I never did. I was just putting on a farce!

I like flies though!

Countries and territories of EuroDisney

Countries and territories of Aaaassiaaa...