User:THIS
Hi. I'm THE.
Theeze are my writings.
Proceed at your own risk.
EPIC artikles are at the top in BOLD.
The rest of my writings are underneeeeth in the order they were written.
The Incredible Adventures of Melville Amsterdam and the Collapsible Ironing Board
The Incredible Adventures of Melville Amsterdam and the Collapsible Ironing Board: PART TWO
The Three (or two) Brothers (and sister) and the mighty Secession Tree
The Monstrous Monster from the Murky Marsh
The Most Honest Person Of All Time
People do the Funniest Things! (kollab with Teststostereicch)
The Tremendous Appendix of Infinity
Santa Claus the Socialist Menace
The Barber and the Gerbilsucker
A Story About a Moral Dilemma (Cake)
Kitchen Utensil Experiment, part 76
But if he did that, he'd explode
IllogiNews:News articles becoming anticlimactic
The Marauding Armies of Can I have a Slice
Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble CARROT STICK!
Phlegm Biscuit: An Underdog Story
Hahahha, we will edit your SOUL
I am attempting to think of a creative title for an article
Monumental and Impressive--Gee Willickers!
I HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO DECIDE WHAT OBJECTS TO SMASH
No i thought you could cook tomatoes
Excerpts from the diary of Reverend Increase Mather, 18th century preacher
OH JEEZE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE OL' DOCTOR WAS BEHIND ALL THIS.
Why has nobody ever nailed a paintbrush to a wall?
Nicaragua (old man in picture frame)
Captain Worpp? Captain Worpp? Are you gonna eat those candle wax?
I just got a pop-up on the right side of the screen that said "The Love Button---Push me hard!!!"
We're gonna go to the spaghetti
An article written while listening to "Whipping Post" by the Allman Brothers Band
Inspiration & Hair (Bloody bags!)
If you press a flashlight to your eye (closed), you will see giraffes
The Legless Hippo Returns Triumphant
IllogiNews:Wikia turns us all into IP users again (IP)
The Comfort of One's Couch (mucus)
If you give a walrus anything in particular
Malpractice: How Big is YOUR Elbow?
Crew trainer, cook, cashier, order taker
My search for the elusive ANSWER.
In the hospital (after being set on fire)
Step Inside (Other side of street)
They Screamed so Loud that Nobody Heard Them
Unnecessary Information about THE
The sky is a giant blue thing above your head
The Letter Q becomes His Master
HowTo:Predict the Future with Poop
Butch's X-TREEM antivirus software
Trapped in an Elevator!!!!! AAAAAH!!!!
Meep (rewrieet)
The Counter Game (Great Time-Wasting Fun!!!!)
C is for Calculus (rewkwest)
Rapist (a rewrite of some sort)
Whoa my gosh (rewrieiet.00)
This is the 180th article I've written on illogicopedia
Wadsworth Cleans Poop off the Walls
Banana Dissection (Nsnsns Foddrvopm)
Paul Newman's Eyes Look Really Strange When They're Upside Down.
The Adventures of Timmy the Horse Head
Whenever I hear somebody speak Latin, something happens to my eye
The Title of this Article Is NOT Ambiguous in ANY WAY!!!
If you press "random page," and land on this article, the world will end in exactly one month
An Article About Libraries and Spiders
Nom Nom Use, Nom Nom Nom, Nom Nom Nom Nom
Wikipedia (Scratch and Sniff Version)
HowTo:Summarize Hamlet with One Word
Clarence Dwinkly Award for Shoe-Tying Excellence
The Psychedelic Haircut Experience
HowTo:Get the Girl of your dreams to Notice You
I Threw Up and A Baby Came Out
A Peice of Paper Came out of My Nostril
Breast Implants For Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Attempt to Type With My Belly Button
Sexual Innuendo in U.S. Currency
After Reproducing in a Bed with an Armadillo in It
The Awkward Moment Registration Office
Where did All this Cheese come from and Why has Nobody Yet Eaten It?
Scattered Like Body Parts in the Shower after the Phone Rang
Allgemeine Anlageverwaltung’s balance sheet structure
The Man with Skyskrapers for Legs
The Entire Population of Europe in a Bathtub Day
The Jesus-Satan Arm Wrestling Competition
The Guiness Book of People who Haven't Broken any World Records or done anything worthy of Notice
Giving Birth to Saxophones Forever
The Pregnant Women's Football League
YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO ON THE TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IllogiNews:Research reveals that Jesus was crucified on a Rubber Duck
Freedom of Peach (I REMEMBERED!!!!)
Contrary to the Opinions of the Gentlemen from New York...
The Miserable Howls of Goats and Watermelons
Let's Build a River out of Plastic Wrap
Our admins do NOT abuse their powers!!!
The Disturbingly Perfect Marriage of Lucinda and Fred
Blueberries! Blueberries! Not wheelbarrows, but same jaw smack!
Billy Mays, Michael Jackson, and their Goldfish
The Poor Man (and his Ice Cream)
The Whole Truth has Changed the Shape of its Mouth
At the Top of a Very Tall Building
The Guy Who Went Hunting for Lions in the City
Identity Crisis in Barbershop Mirror
Richard's Recreational Roadkill Baptism
Amateur Cosmetic Surgery Made Easy!
This Morning I woke up in a Sandwich
The Palace of the Empty Soda Can
The Apocalypse Lullabye (Awake)
Mount Rushmore (Intestinal Version)
You Must got Soda in Your Blood!
HowTo:Create a Meaningful, Happy Life for Yourself Using Nothing but Paper Towels
The Romantic Behind the Toilet
The Art of Awkwardly Introducing Yourself
I Miss Pretending to be a Suitcase
Doctor! Doctor! I'm only Spleens!
The Society for Telling the Poor you Feel Sorry for Them
Is He Singing, or is it Phlegm?
Ruth considers slightly more meaningful vocalizations
Let's Cover up all the Sad Things with a Really Big Blanket
Long Conversation with Aching Back
The Solo Career of Paul McCartney's Kidney
Plastic House of Representatives
Suspicious Man with Very Large Coat
Creating Divinity with Poultry and Awkward Accompaniment
New York (Pondering Concrete Cookies)
Plastic Surgery at the Gas Station
The Three Sentences that Could've Solved All the World's Problems
I think I Hear Your Wretched Clapping
Regarding Always Quite More Strangely
Man with Yellow Beard Places Each Person Inside a Space Helmet
Man Reaches Destination by Place Built of Shovels
Get Born Again Inside Our Tents!!!!
Thoughts While Reading T3canolis's Article "Thoughts While On a Roller Coaster"
Carol Opens the Window, then Closes it, then Opens it Again
Brushing Your Teeth in a Godly Manner
People Coming out of Other People
They're Not Gonna Want Me There Too Early
A Cannibalism Joke with Undertones of Societal Commentary and Dystopian Satire
Never Do This With a Rolling Pin
Unrelated Quote Guy (ritten lonng ago on uncyklopeedia, brott bakck from the ded thanks to Fonch)
Empty Chairs (...and be human?)
A Man Eats a Lemon and Then He Goes to the Dentist
Self-Awareness Exploded Everything
We're Basically Books (I saw Humanity in those Sugar-Covered Sticks)