Real life

This article was spooned from Uncle Pete in about 25% of it.

Real Life^TM is a massively multiplayer online video game created by God Game Studios in 13,700,000,000 BC. It is rated 0+ in the US (ESRB) and NC-21 in Singapore. Real Life uses a class based system, with over 100 000 jobs available, and instead of a standard monthly fee, the fee paid depends on your status, number of family members, and class.

It is by far the most-played and oldest MMORPG ever, with at least 7,200,000,000 of merely the 'Human' class. There are trillions more in further classes (the exact number isn't known).

About the studio

Exactly nobody knows WHO created Real Life, as it was so long ago. But according to some religious groups, it was created by a single programmer, known variously as 'God', 'Allah', 'Arceus' or 'Cheese'. Some polytheists are the guilds who choose to believe in multiple designers. Either way, it was somehow created for the Celestial Seven-Day-Video-Game Design Competition 0. At least, that's what we think.

Locations

Real Life takes place on an expansive, high graphic planet called Earth. Other planets are unlockable if one chooses the 'Astronaut' job sequence, but it requires a lot of training, and isn't that rewarding, to be honest. For some reason the planets aren't yet available, but should be released in a patch soon.

Gameplay

Birth and Death

'Birth' and 'death' are namely the terms used to refer to the creation and destruction, respectively, of accounts in the game. Due to the 1.7.3 Contract, it is only possible to have one account at a time in the game. If your account dies, you're entitled to another one, but we'll get to that later. Account creation lasts a total of 9 months, though, because of the long wait to join the game. Joining is powered by the Embryo^TM game service engine, which uses two existing players to join up and process the game's application. They can either Wait for this application to proceed, in birth, or use special Items called 'contraceptives' if one does not wish to process a new game application. Some conditions can be inflicted by the engine that last one's whole game time, but these are rare. Please report any faults to God, Development 024484746453FFF, Exception Handler 00000F.

As for death, which involves losing all HP (0%) while playing Real Life, you leave the game, and must wait using the Embryo engine to create a new account, known as reincarnation. Only those who are religious are entitled to this however, as atheists will never return. Or at least that's propaganda spread by some player cults.

While death happens naturally due to a long time playing Real Life, it can occasionally happen through other means, such as moderators kicking you off said server for being an idiot, or griefing (known as 'vandalism'). You can either be kicked from the game and stored in a high security location, known as 'prison', or executed straight away, and get booted from it.

Class Information

Unlike other RPGs, classes are not assigned at this moment, and you remain classless and with no base stats whatsoever for the first few years. When you have been playing for 18 years (or 21, or20 depending on your country), you have reached adulthood. You can now do all sorts of adult things.

Marriage

At marriage, your life ends. Or at least that's what 2+2=5's dad told him. He then ran off into the abyss know as Eastern Los Angeles.

Things to do

Plenty.

That woman is being controlled by Twitch, an online live-streaming service. This is however, VERY RISKY as do YOU want 50,000 people trying to move you?

See also

Official Reddit

Video Games