Mario Party 8
This is the 8th game in the series of Mario Parties and I'm here to tell you the (biased) truth.
Mario-Anyone who doesn't know that has been under a rock...
Gay Luigi/Weegee/Mama Luigi-Pick which one you want, there is no normal Luigi. Normal Luigi is as much as an oxymoron as smart blonde. Let's face it, he's got multiple personalities. Maybe that means I'll have to shoot him 3 times for him to die. Damn.
Toad-Like Gay Luigi, Weegee, and Mama Luigi, this guy suffers from an illness too. It's called Co-dependence. He relies on Mario. The only person more co-dependent than Toad is Princess Peach but since she's the one getting captured, we'll just assume Toad is more co-dependent and worse at independence.
Playable Characters we have no time to list because I didn't care
- Dry Bones
- Birdo (way too freaking gross!!)
- Hammer Bro
DK's Treetop Temple-Get to the star as uickly as you can and pay 20 coins.
Goomba's Booty Boardwalk-If this board didn't have Dolphin Shuttles, what would we be? Of course leave it to Fat Wario who's eating all the Candy and taking the Dolphin Shuttles.
King Boo's Haunted Hideaway-This is a puzzle board. King Boo will give you a Star for 10 coins then flip his mansion around.
Shy Guy's Perplexed Express- The purpose of this is to get on some train to nowhere and collect stars.
Koopa's Tycoon Town-Be evil and freaking STEAL or you'll be miserable.
Bowser's Warped Orbit- The Same description for Koopa's Tycoon Town.
This is not an instruction manual, so you should know the common candy in Mario Party 8. (And if you don't then you're very slow) These candies are in the game too but it's way too unlikely to ever get one of these candies.
- Times Million Candy- Lets you hit the Dice Block 1 million times. But as everyone knows, it takes about 23 days to count to 1 million, so you're better off NOT having this candy!
- Times Zero Candy-You hit the dice Block zero times, making you lose your turn completely.
- Peach Candy-Transform into Princess Peach, and get kidnapped and rescued. May interrupt Mario Party 8 gameplay making it into a Super Mario Bros Game.
- Victory Candy-Makes you win the entire game and every game after that. Then it makes you win competitions outside of Mario party 8. Costs 9999999999999999 coins to buy at Candy Shops. If you selected Waluigi as your character, this Candy is totally free even in the shops.
- Defeat Candy-The opposite of Victory Candy. Get it and you fail at life. There are only 2 ways to avoid it: Never leave your house again without a shaved head and orange skin or PLAY. AS. WALUIGI.
- Awesome Candy-This Candy makes your character hotter, smarter and more special than Waluigi. Unless you're Chuck Norris, ignore this candy's effects and get a life.
What we have learned from this game
1. Luigi doesn't exist. You have to call this so-called "Luigi" as Gay Luigi, Weegee, or Mama Luigi.
2. Birdo is ugly.
3. Oxygen is 21% of the earth's atmosphere.
4. Tax Exemption!