New Super Mario Bros. 2

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New Super Mario Bros 2


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The cover art. That green guy holding coins is WEEEEEEEEEEEGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

New Super Mario Bros. 2 is a platformer game released in 2012 for the Nintendo 3DS. And, honestly, when you think about it, it's kind of "random" already. "Internet random", of course.

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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on New Super Mario Bros. 2.

Coin Rush[edit]

A brand new mode unlocked after completing World 1-*boss castle*. You can choose whether or not to equip the Invincibility Leaf upon activation. Includes the elusive Golden Mushroom, which gives the consumer 50 coins. The point is to get through three partially-randomized stages/levels as fast as you can, collecting as many coins as you can along the way. Oh, and some coins float in the air. Could someone please explain why there are floating coins?

What's with the coins, you ask? Here's why: Collecting 100 coins gives you an extra life. Therefore, collecting up to 900 coins without losing a life makes you a cat. Or at least it would, but the Cat Suit was a year away.

Enemies[edit]

  • Goombas are fanged, brown mushrooms with feet that waddle around regardless of drops of any distance. Sometimes, they have wings that give them an extra hit and allow them to fly, in which case you should probably find the nearest Invincibility Leaf.
  • Bone Goombas are literally the exact same thing, except they're spooky scary or whatever.
  • Koopas are bipedal turtles that believe defense is better than friendship. Seriously, have you even SEEN one sliding around in its shell, slashing through anything in its way? They may also have wings, by the way.
  • Buzzy Beetles are pretty much Koopas that are immune to fire. How does THAT work? Sunscreen, that's how.
  • Hammer Bros are Koopas that throw hammers that somehow only hurt Mario. LOGIC!
  • Spinies are immune to being stomped. Some walk on walls. Good luck.
  • Piranha Plants are Venus Fly Traps that have evolved beyond their original purpose, and now eat everything while avoiding obesity.
  • Pokeys are cacti bred to be so annoying, they start raging if they look at each other.
  • Fire Snakes are exactly what they sound like: conga lines of fireballs whose jumps are always curved. Sounds just like a snake, besides the "fire" part.
  • Chain Chomps... well, Pac-Man's been chained up. Might as well release him. *ground-pounds a stick that the chain is connected to* Be FREE!!1- OW! Bad Pac-Man! May have a chain of fire or produce electricity. Try to stay clear of these things.
  • Cheep-Cheeps are fish. Seriously. That's it.
  • If you see a Thwomp... RUN. Underneath it. Or else it will crush you. If you give up midway. Because WOMP it lava ain't enough bud get rekt skrub
  • Boos are ghosts. Look at them, and they won't hurt you. Look away, and they will chase you. What cowards: only attacking from the back. They have a knack for catching unwary plumbers off guard, though.
  • Wigglers have their own article that's full of lies. LIES, I TELL YOU!
  • **** Bloopers.
  • Bob-ombs speak for themse-lolnopeexplosionmlggetshrekt420burazaetgotyhardarsereads
  • Small/Mini Urchins... good job, team.
  • Dry Bones are already dead, therefore you can't kill them. Except of course you can. Eeble sonk banerna.

Bosses[edit]

  • kooplins lol
  • You can't have a Mario platformer without King Koopa himself, can you? I won't talk about Bowser too much (as to not spoil the final battle), but I'll say this: HE PWNS. lol jk its a bad boss

Power-ups[edit]

The Raccoon Suit in action. Weird.

The Super Leaf turns Mario into a bipedal raccoon (what's with all the bipedal animals?) that can fly. As if Mario weren't bizarre enough already. (Luigi turns into a fox... that's very important.)

The Invincibility Leaf is the same as the Super Leaf, except you're under the effects of a Super Star until you die or complete the level. Only appears in unbeaten levels, once you've already died five times... convenience FTW!

There's also the Tanooki Suit, which – wait, it's not in this one? Really? Come on, they have the Super Leaf AND the Invincibility Leaf! Why wouldn't they have the Tanooki Suit? ...Well, do they at least have the Statue Leaf, which pretty much does the same thing – NO?!!? aaarhghghARHGRHAGHGRHAGFHRKECJNTHJWRKHCJKSNMHJXTNHJKRTSHN JTSDUCJKNRTHT

Did you know that there's a type of mushroom that makes you feel like you're taller? Well, the Super Mushroom is just that... except the growth spurt is no illusion.

The Mini Mushroom reduces Mario to a size even a termite would be embarassed of.

Oh, and there's also the Mega Mushroom, which... can I... do I have to tell you what this thing does? You can figure it out on your own, right?

Do do do, do do do-do do, do do do, do do do-do do... Super Star FTW! Grants immunity to enemy attack... and (sadly) nothing else. Everything has a downside nowadays...

The P-Wing is also the same as the Super Leaf, except you have to die TEN times in an unbeaten level for it to appear, and instead of invincibility you can FLY FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!until-you-touch-the-flag-pole-sad-face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!

The Fire Flower is MOST AWESOME THING EVER U CANT DENI YT!!!!!!11!!

The Gold Flower is the same as the Fire Flower, except the fireballs turn everything into COINZ!!!!!!!11111!!!!!overused-stuff-FTW!!!!! Also, while it turns Mario into gold, Luigi only turns silver. Poor guy deserves better than that. *"Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon" is released* That's better.

Do I even have to explain the 1-Up Mushroom?

External Links[edit]