Zangief

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“For Mother Russia!”

~ TAKE A WILD FREAKIN' GUESS
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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on Zangief.
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Zangief (also known as the "Red Cyclone") is a character from the Street Fighter franchise, specifically a "muscles-on-the-level-of-steroid-users"-bearing Russian wrestler, as well as one of the many video game characters who made it into Wreck-It Ralph. He hates projectiles, bears that suck at wrestling, projectiles, when his Banishing Flat fails to deflect a projectile, and projectiles.

In case you were wondering and/or didn't know, Zangief debuted in Street Fighter II.


Moveset[edit]

  • Banishing Flat. Used for destroying projectiles. Which he hates. A LOT. This move was specifically created so he could deflect projectiles, though he needs EXTREMELY precise timing to avoid failing.
  • Spinning Piledriver. Copied by Seth, but you probably don't care, because we're talking Zangief here.
  • Double Lariat. He was told ballet was suck. He prove dem wronguh. He also use as excuse for nicname ov "Red Cyclone". Me caveman, laugh laugh.
  • Flying Power Bomb. Bye-bye, Mr. Cranium.
  • Final Atomic Buster. Aaaaaand there goes the frontal lobe.
  • Ultimate Atomic Buster. He remembered the spine, I see.
  • Siberian Blizzard. I WANT TO EVAPORATE HIS SPINAL CORD 3DS Only works in the air. BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!

Rivals[edit]

  WARNING: The covered text in this section is an actual spoiler. You have been warned.  
  • Ryu
  • Guile - Cold War, much?
  • El Fuerte - Cook my vodka or I will break your spinal cord. Never mind, that joke's getting old. That also made no sense... then again, not making sense is the whole point of this website, isn't it? Oh my god, what am I doing with my life?
  • Abel - Technically, Abel is Seth's older brother. Yeah...
  • E. Honda
  • Rolento
  • Chun Li
  • R. Mika - I don't understand her. Why does she exist?

Comrades[edit]