Rock Paper Scissors

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Intarweb RPS, played by millions daily.

Don't you just love this classic fake ripoff of the classic game, Rawk Papier Sceesers?

Gameplay[edit | edit source]

The game is very simple; all you have to do is choose either: Rock, in which you clench your fist and if you succeed, beat your opponent with the nearest one you can find; scissors, which are an emo's favourites and paper, in which papercuts are deadly.

Choices[edit | edit source]

Rps1.PNG
PS2 Version
  • Rock - Destroys, scissors, lives, stones, and other anonymous things. Loses to paper for no apparent reason, also loses to Rock, the type of song.
  • Paper - Not to be confused with Piper. Paper beats nerds by giving them papercuts and emos. Somehow defeats rock by suffocating it, although this is impossible. IM POSSIBLE ! I SAY! I SAY! I SAYYYY!
  • Scissors - Cuts through anything except rock. Beats paper, pipers, emos, and yet again makes the razor blade feel unwanted. Loses to the stainless steel scissors.
  • Piper - Beats nothing except himself.
  • Bully - Beats up people
  • Stainless steel scissors - Easily beats scissors while being unscathed, since, of course, it is stainless steel.

Rock should not suffocate to such atrocities![edit | edit source]

I don't understand one thing about this puny game, why does Paper beat Rock, how does rock suffocate? HOW I ASK? HOWWWW? Well, obviously rock can rip right through paper, so we must now change the rules of the game.

New and improved rules![edit | edit source]

Taken from the 2008 official manual of Rockpaperscissory.

ROCK > PAPER, SCISSORS, LIVES, STONES, ANONYMOUS THINGS. LOSES TO ROCK.
PAPER > NERDS, PAPERCUTS, EMOS. LOSES TO ALUMINIUM FOIL AND IRON MAN.
SCISSORS > SCISSORS, PAPER, PIPERS, RAZOR BLADES, EMOS. LOSES TO STAINLESS STEAL SCISSORS.

And so blah, there you blabbity have it.

NOW ON NINTENDO WII and also PS2.

See also[edit | edit source]