Rock Paper Scissors

From Illogicopedia
(Redirected from Scissors)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Intarweb RPS, played by millions daily.

Don't you just love this classic fake ripoff of the classic game, Rawk Papier Sceesers?

Gameplay[edit]

The game is very simple; all you have to do is choose either: Rock, in which you clench your fist and if you succeed, beat your opponent with the nearest one you can find; scissors, which are an emo's favourites and paper, in which papercuts are deadly.

Choices[edit]

Rps1.PNG
PS2 Version
  • Rock - Destroys, scissors, lives, stones, and other anonymous things. Loses to paper for no apparent reason, also loses to Rock, the type of song.
  • Paper - Not to be confused with Piper. Paper beats nerds by giving them papercuts and emos. Somehow defeats rock by suffocating it, although this is impossible. IM POSSIBLE ! I SAY! I SAY! I SAYYYY!
  • Scissors - Cuts through anything except rock. Beats paper, pipers, emos, and yet again makes the razor blade feel unwanted. Loses to the stainless steel scissors.
  • Piper - Beats nothing except himself.
  • Bully - Beats up people
  • Stainless steel scissors - Easily beats scissors while being unscathed, since, of course, it is stainless steel.

Rock should not suffocate to such atrocities![edit]

I don't understand one thing about this puny game, why does Paper beat Rock, how does rock suffocate? HOW I ASK? HOWWWW? Well, obviously rock can rip right through paper, so we must now change the rules of the game.

New and improved rules![edit]

Taken from the 2008 official manual of Rockpaperscissory.

ROCK > PAPER, SCISSORS, LIVES, STONES, ANONYMOUS THINGS. LOSES TO ROCK.
PAPER > NERDS, PAPERCUTS, EMOS. LOSES TO ALUMINIUM FOIL AND IRON MAN.
SCISSORS > SCISSORS, PAPER, PIPERS, RAZOR BLADES, EMOS. LOSES TO STAINLESS STEAL SCISSORS.

And so blah, there you blabbity have it.

NOW ON NINTENDO WII and also PS2.

See also[edit]